Super Sub -- Really?

Every Super - _____ has a back story

Here's mine

The name Super Sub was given to me by a kindergartener. I subbed in his classroom one day, the next day I got the call to help with the kitchen. This boy handed in his tray to the window and did a double take - a teacher washing dishes? I also coach basketball and soccer, I pointed out to him while spraying cake frosting from the blue trays. "Whoa," he said. (5-6 is such a funny age).

He wanted to know how this can be!?!

I told him I have a regular life, but when the school calls me, I spring into action and come to help. He remembered I was in the music room. Yes, I confirmed and added also computer teacher, health, art, not to mention teaching the big kids and little kids like him. But dishes? Sure, I told him, and when the principal is sick? I'll do that too. Hmm, maybe I went too far. But if there are consequences of my usurpation, it will only help me with empathy -- something you'll read about in the Chapter 4 summary of Teaching with Love and Logic - which is why I'm writing this blog - this is a fancy book report. Now let's get back to...

... the Kool K Kid!

At this point, the trays were starting to pile up and he was slowing me down. I had to get him to move along.

"Like Batman? And the Bat Signal? Is that what it's like?"

"Yes. Well, no, not like Batman. More like... Super Sub."

He was thrilled and ran off shouting that he was just talking to the Super Sub. And he was reprimanded for running. And yelling. That's how it goes.

Another day while covering lunch duty in the dining hall, I made up a song about how important it was to chew food - "chomp chomp" and all that. Um, anyway, that's how I was renamed the "Alligator." No one calls me "Super Sub" anymore which kinda makes me sad. I don't feel like an alligator and didn't think the name suited this blog -- kind of distracting -- so we are going with "Super Sub."

BTW - I am not a "super sub." Just ask the reading specialist who opened the door to our adjoined rooms to protest the outrageous noise coming from the second-grade class I was covering. My bad. This is my first year trying this and I am learning by making many mistakes. But if I work at it, I can get better.

Hope you enjoy the information and if you are a fellow super sub wannabe - hope this helps you.

Quick Links:
Review of Teaching with Love and Logic on Goodreads
Notes for me: How to Be a Super Sub
Love and Logic: Chapter Summary.

Good Reading to You.

Yours Truly,
Super Alligator
Assistant Dish Washing Technician

Notes to Self: How to Be a Super Sub

The Night Before

Clothes

Not knowing if I was working the next day kinda bugged me when I first signed up to be a sub. Then one night when I laid out my clothes for the next day, I imagined I was a firefighter. Then the idea that I could jump in them and rush off seemed like a fulfillment of a brief and abandoned childhood career dream.

Pictured Left - Eric Hagman, a real firefighter. In fact, he's the chief. Congratulations, Eric!



It's all in your perspective.

Coffee

Premeasured, cup out on the counter, pan ready to cook water - I can sleep well when I know coffee is waiting at the other end. 

Phone

Put it on the charger. And while you are at it, check for a text - you might have a job tomorrow...

Bug Out Bag

List:

• 550 Parachute Cord (50′)
• Cotton Bandana.
• Duct Tape (25')
• Sunglasses.
• N95 Face Mask.
• Sewing Kit.

STOP! Wrong list. That's my disaster survival bag

Here's my sub bag list:

• Pack gym shoes, workout clothes & a whistle. Then say a prayer that the gym teacher is out. This is theologically questionable behavior, but she does have the best job in the building and needs to share once in a while.
• Kitchen clothes - stuff that can get soaked when washing dishes or that you don't mind splattered with ketchup or barbeque sauce. I have yet to encounter a behavior issue with a lunch tray, I always say yes to dish duty. And you get cake.
• Layers - some classrooms are cold, the building is weird like that.
• Binder with sub info (curious? see binder section below).
• Non-toxic Hypoallergenic Kindergartener Repellant Spray - this will keep them from stretching your tops out, pulling on your arms, or trying to jump or sit on you. It does not exist yet, but I will invent it and be stinkin' rich. Don't steal this idea, I had it first!

The Morning Of

Add to your Bug Out Bag the following:

• Phone
• Food
• Water
• Recess gear

I'm half a century old and I still forget my lunch when I go to school. Sigh. Slow head shake.

You should leave 15 minutes early so you can amuse your retired neighbors huddled over their first cup of coffee watching you out their window. Run back inside several times before trying to drive away from your house. Make them really yuck it up by driving out the driveway then stop and set your transmission to reverse. Go back to look for your coffee which is miraculously still on the roof of your car. Dope slap yourself in the head. If you are going to put on a show, go all out.

Giving yourself extra time for such amnesiatic shenanigans allows you to expel some self-effacing laughter and a enjoy the stress-free good feeling of knowing even though you are an airhead, you will still make it at least to the parking lot by 8:00.

Don't forget to sing along with the radio while drinking coffee eating a bagel and reaching outside to scrape ice off the windshield with your fingernails. You can do it!

Start the Day

8:00 Arrive and Prepare

Walk in slowly taking time to make eye contact and say hi to people. Your job is comparatively easy, don't pretend you are stressed or under pressure like everyone else, you're not! So shut up about it. Be the nice person who listens. Your role is to help everyone and it starts now.

Make sure you learn the names of all the staff kids walking in early with their moms and dads. Make a connection - find out something interesting about that student that they can talk to you about.

"Oh, I think I saw you at my daughter's lacrosse practice."
"Do you have one of those solar systems on display down there?"
"I heard your dog had an earache, I hope he is feeling better."
"Did you see the latest episode of Stranger Things?"

The moments you spend here will come back to you in a powerful way either today or at another time. Relationships with these students and their parents are fun to build. Do it for that reason. It is also smart. When you have friends all around the building in classrooms, maintenance, kitchen, library, specials, and especially the computer guy, you know who to go to when you need it - and they won't mind helping you because they know you are not some big jerk. There is not one person in this building that you will not need at some point this school year. So, walk slow and enjoy the people.

Go right to the office and fill out a time card. If you skip this step, you will not be paid. That would be silly.

Start to fulfill your assignment:

1. Determine and confirm your assignment for the day
2. Find out how to unlock the room
3. Make sure you have a lesson plan but don't read it yet
4. Do a room walk around and get a feel for the place - the personality, the layout, resources, things that these people do in here... Hmm... Notice the projects - look for something special about the students you are about to meet.
5. Read the "Ages and Stages of Youth Development" from UNH Extension and see what age appropriate behavior might look like for your class today (binder)
6. Read your "Teaching with Love and Logic Notes" (binder)
7. Now pick up the lesson plan and read it out loud - really

Planning

Read the entire plan without giving a thought to any of it, just read it.

Next, GET TO WORK!!!! TICK TOCK!!! What are you doing wandering around making chit chat, reading the walls, and talking to yourself? You are running out of time!

• Check for when you have your first planning period, draw a line across the lesson plan. You have just delineated either the first period (hockey) or first quarter (basketball) or first half (soccer). You need to bring your A team out for the first part of this game, so get ready to start well if you are going to win
• Read carefully and deliberately. Put a square or circular check-off thingy in the margin for everything you need to do. Hey, when the kids get there, reading (or thinking) will not be an option soon, so turn this lesson plan into easy-to-find bullets (some teachers are verbose, do this just for the first section if you are running short on time)
• Underline the pertinent and keywords:  attendance, lunch count, collect homework...
• Make sure you know how to do arrival time, this will set the pace for the day
• Get your self super ready for the first set of classes - objective, materials, hook, evaluation
• Run around and ask questions of other staff before the kids arrive - ok to rush now

School Day is Here!

Arrival

8:30 Welcome to Arizona, The Grand Canyon State!

Welcome every student into the room. Especially Mondays. Some kids have two homes or just crummy stuff going on. Be there for them.

Pictured left, Ben Stein demonstrates eye contact not happening, don't do this.

Make eye contact and connect with every child. Of course, you won't be able to reach them all, but it's fun to try. Students are the honored ones in the building, the reason we are here. We meet their educational needs and to do that, we must connect. Besides, they are our future, help them out and maybe they will be nice to us when we are old. 

Arrival requires lunch orders and attendance plus sometimes collecting various things. Usually, there is a task or an ongoing activity students do during arrival. This can be chaotic and you might make mistakes, so get help. As much as possible, get a student helper or two. Pick a student you feel needs to make a connection with you. If that's too much to think about, what is the most obnoxious thing happening in the room? Right there - pick that kid. It's usually a he, but there are those remarkable girls who fit the bill, so I'll go with this kid being a guy for my next sentence. It has not failed yet that that that boy who was doing [insert normal age appropriate obnoxious behavior] will continue to help me all day if I take the time to humbly ask him to help me. Loud kids are asking for attention and inclusion, give it to them.

Pictured above, students demonstrate the correct procedure when meeting their new teacher. They line up, step forward one at a time and say their names... um, this never happens. Oh, but they do give the wrong name to subs. Other kids usually rat them out, but it doesn't matter. I just use whatever name they give me and eventually, it annoys them back. It's easier than fighting it.

Always ask first. You are a guest in their room, not the other way around. Ask before you use the teacher's smart board, computer, markers, etc. Show them you are respectful. Ask them to verify procedures and protocols for the morning meeting. Say please and thank you. You are not the boss, you are a sub. The more respect you show to the absent classroom teacher, the more likely your chances of being seen as respectable.

Introduction

Name & Rules

Every time - every time - every time - even if you had them yesterday - every time you begin a day in a classroom or a class with a new group, make sure you get to introduce yourself and repeat the rules. You may not need the refresher on your name, but you do need to be reminded of the rules (and it won't hurt for the kids to hear them too). Not doing this... not good. Do it.

Name

Start by giving all students options of how to address you. If you have one, use an outside title -- and then give them your name. For me, it goes like this:

• Coach
• Coach Edmonds
• Coach Indra
• Ms. Indra
• Indra - for those who know me outside of school, just don't use that one around Mrs. Lano because this drives her nuts - and she's right BTW
• Mrs. Edmonds
• Hey You
• Hey... Hey... Hey
• and then there are some who forget and call me "mom," I don't mind. I make it clear students are not to be made fun of if they do this, I won't tolerate meanness.

Rules

Announce that you have three rules. The numeral three is only beaten out in brevity by two and one so they will be grateful for... just three

1. I will listen to you

2. I will respect ___________ (teacher)'s lesson plan and classroom. I do not know all the classroom rules and work in so many places throughout this building; I'm going to break a rule. Please be patient and speak to me with kindness.Thank you.

3. I will defend every student's right to an education here in Strafford school.

It took a while to develop these rules. On the first day that I tried out this combination of words and ideas, a boy raised his hand - "Are you a student or a teacher?"

"I am a substitute teacher and thank you," I answered and quickly moved on.

The reaction to this type of "rulemaking" is varied. While working in the room of a particularly remarkable sixth-grade class, after rule three, they broke into applause. That was strange... but nice.

The Lesson

The "Set Up" for the lesson is as important as the lesson. Like a good joke, timing is everything.

Let's set it up.

The objective of the lesson

State clearly the object. Students need to hear the words, see the words, and be shown a sample of the finished product. Use visuals - white board, smart board. What needs to be done by the end of the class must be very clear as well as the options when done early. The rest of the details about the lesson are not as important. 

Standard of behavior

Let students know they can work any way they want as long as their actions do not interfere with another student's right to learn and that it is within classroom rules and the parameters given in the lesson plan. Do this early and move on - don't field questions about this now.

Materials
Make sure you go over materials with the class.

If you have not prepared the materials, you deserve what will happen next. Don't get mad at the deviants who take advantage of this huge opportunity to (fill in the blank with whatever they do while you scramble). If you lose this round to missing materials, be a good loser. Also, don't be too down on yourself, learn from this and come out fighting in the next round.

Assuming you can find and talk about materials, make sure you include how and when to put them away (or you deserve the mess at the end of this lesson). Get a bossy kid to remind everyone when it is time to clean up and get that obnoxious kid to be in charge of getting materials put away. There.

Communication

"Questions? Comments? Observations?"

Here are some more words, just read this aloud if you can't remember, it's GOOD STUFF:

"For now, we can talk. If we need to have a quiet room, I might ask for you to communicate with writing. Be ready for both. Regardless if we are in talk or write mode, all complaints must be submitted in writing and will be read when I have free time. In case of a life and death emergency, you should always shout clearly and get right to the point."

Execute
Make a big deal of saying "Go"

Be funny. Yell "Bake!" or "Geronimo!"

Learning should be a good journey. If you make them smile or roll their eyes and shake their little heads at a nerdy learning-loving sub -- it is a good thing.

Planning Period

Write a nice note to the teacher.

First, find something they have done that is unique and effective. Write a compliment.
Second, be clear on what you were able to cover -- even it is was "not much"
Start this note now, finish at the end of the day.

Writing this note will focus you.

Now finish putting boxes on the lesson plan, checking materials, and getting ready for round two.

Don't forget to pee.

End of the Day

#1 Kids need to get on the right bus
#2 Kids need to have their stuff
#3 Kids need to leave feeling good about their education

We are a fast-paced society and seldom take time to reflect.

Ways to reflect:

• have the students seated and raise their hands to say one good thing that happened that day
• allow students to remain seated and talk to their neighbor
• allow students to move around and talk during dismissal

If you allow movement or talking, remember you need to listen to what the students are up to. Bullying or bad talk at the end of the day can erase gains you and your colleagues worked so hard to accomplish today. Be careful, end strong.

Sponge Spy. Circulate around the room cleaning horizontal surfaces. Listen as you go. If you are the "cleaning lady" they will ignore you and keep talking. You can monitor their conversations and keep them on the right track. Sounds sneaky? Ever want to be a spy as a kid? Like Harriet Tubman in the Civil War? Well, there you go.

That one kid who really needs to talk to you about their day really needs you to listen. Ask him or her to walk and talk so you can move around during dismissal. 

You are there to defend every student's right to an education. Don't drop the ball at the end of the day.

When the students are gone, end your teacher note with another compliment - say a good word about a student who helped you, something great about the lesson, something about the classroom that looks neat and works well.

Walk slowly from the building - eye contact, listen, be a good person.

My Binder

Your binder might look like this:

Or this:

Or this:



Or this:

But not this, not ever.

Whatever era you came of age in, use that mode of container/transport to keep this information readily available to you while you are in the building.

My binder has:

1. Information from Strafford school:
Get the handbook copied or read the e-version. Read it. You should know what the rules are before you play any game. Beyond the policy book, there are procedures. Keep notes. Before you ask a question, write it down. When you get an answer, keep it so you don't have to ask again. People's time is valuable.





2. Ages and Stages of Youth Development
This handy one page (front and back) guide to grade level behavioral expectations really works! Ever wonder why kindergarteners act like six-year-olds? Does it amaze you when middle school students make unrealistic choices? Hmmm. Click on this link for your pocket guide to age-appropriate behavior - and it's free:

UNH Extention Ages and Stages of Youth Development



3. Notes from Teaching with Love and Logic. I used the Parenting with Love and Logic book to help me make changes in the way I was parenting. It was also quite hysterical - I loved the anecdotes. A friend loaned me her teacher edition and I used it to work on one thing at a time about the way I behaved in a classroom. The teacher one is Jim and Charles Fay's Teaching with Love and Logic. It was - very teachery, but also got the job done in an enjoyable way. Either book is money well spent:

Hey - read my book report (and buy the book)

My Book Report Teaching with Love and Logic

Teaching with Love and Logic Book Report

Chapter Summaries

Why is this blog called Super Sub? Well, I'm not super, and here's my backstory:

Super Sub - Really?

Teaching with Love and Logic

Chapter One

You can skip this chapter. It is an argument for why you should read the book.

Should you buy it? Yes, click here:  Teaching with Love and Logic
Why? I have used this book including directly quoting it in the classroom.

Ok, let me sum up:

• Consequences are like antibiotics - when they are overused, some little germs become immune (my analogy, nowhere in this book are students referred to as germs even metaphorically)
• Yelling threats works most of the time, but no one likes it. (Well, maybe that one kid, but...)
• Saying, "I will do something..." works, try it. It's much better (maybe you should read this chapter, I forgot that part was in there)
• It is better to build relationships and set limits with a whisper.

Do you want to be the sub that says, "I'm taking names!" or the one that gets high fives in the hall and keeps the school going when a teacher is down or out -- (hopefully not both!). You won't be a super sub in one day, in fact, there is really no such thing. People who work in a school are constantly adapting to new students and situations. School staff and part-time employees are just people constantly making their best better (stole that from 4-H).

One gem from this chapter is...  try one new thing at a time

So, get the book, read a chapter, and try to change one thing about yourself.
Hey, you are working in a school, give yourself a chance to learn.
And be patient.

Chapter Two

Rules

Yes, Green Arrow, there are rules. Furthermore, wearing your hoodie up not only violates the dress code, it also severely limits your peripheral vision. And get a real weapon. Oh, and Flash, you're out of dress code and you're equally ridiculous, but at least you have legit superpowers.

Rules - the three rules I use were a result of reading Teaching with Love and Logic.
It took months to get this down to a system, work on your own rules -- reading this chapter will help you see how rules can be freeing to students and you.

Pay attention Green Arrow, your privilege does not excuse you in my world.

Here's the rules:

1. I will listen to you
2. I will respect the lesson plans and classroom of ___________
3. I will defend every student's right to a good education


Why three rules? 
I told you, I'm not a "Super Sub." 

• I don't have eyes in the back of my head. 
• I can't read minds. 
• And I can't remember more than three rules. 

So three it is.


Besides, who wants to hear it?
When you are a sub, you don't get a ton of time to elaborate on your pedagogical philosophy and besides, who cares? (Well, maybe that "one kid.") These kids have to subtract with borrowing, don't take up class time with long lectures on behavior, let's get to it.

I re-read through these other statements during a planning period or over morning coffee. When I can, I use them. You should read the book, but if you can't get to it right away, here are some follow-up things you might want to add if you have time and your audience is still with you. They come right out of this chapter with a few word changes here and there...

• You can do ____________ as long as it doesn't interfere with any student's right to learn.
• Talk to the person bugging you first, only involve me if you need ideas.
• I will listen to complaints at 4:00 pm.
• I will listen to you... when you speak softly to me.
• If you make a mess, clean it up. If you cause a problem, solve it
• If you feel something is unfair, whisper it to me

Chapter Three

Turn Blue or Go Brain Dead

Basically, if students feel they can argue over limits - your limits are the problem.

Huh? I thought kids were supposed to respect teachers or else?
If you think this, you have no idea. Let me enlighten you.

When I was "that kid," I had no problem staring an adult in the face and saying, "Or else what?" I enjoyed the rush of adrenaline, I felt alive. Once calmed down, I would start to think like a computer answering yes or no questions and creating a trouble algorithm to make decisions:

• is the teacher-threat real?
• can they catch me and or prove it?
• is the consequence worth it?

The worst combination in a child is boredom paired with anger inside an intelligent, creative, capable person. Let your imagination run wild - I might have done that...

Here's a list of confrontations you should avoid:

• Don't grab a tiger by the tail or poke a bear with a stick
• Don't spit into a gust of more than 10 mph
• Don't lick a frozen flag flagpole
• Don't confront "that kid"
• Don't

How can you tell you are being confrontational?
Give students a question or option they can say "no" to and you have asked for a fight.

In this section, I have put fighting words in red 
Thinking words are in blue

Check this out ---

Teacher: Do it.
Student: No.

Now, what are you going to do?
You are no match for "super student" who has built up an immunity to your tone, looks, and threats.

Here is another way ---

Teacher: Doing it will get you a good grade
Student: I guess I will get what I deserve

Some or maybe most little kids don't really care about grades - see UNH Extension Ages and Stages
They are motivated by recess, food, and fun
They also need instructions repeated, nothing wrong with a little kid needing to hear it again

Teacher: Give me a completed paper, it is your ticket to free-time
Student: I want free time, what do I have to give you?
Teacher: This. Done well.
Student: Give me that! [Hands it right back] Here! Free time for me!
Teacher: Hold on, your free time starts when this paper is complete... and done well
Student: Arg [starts working]

Here are some more quotes - how to NOT say it, then how to say it

Hand it in
Papers received now are on time and will get full credit

Stop talking
Visit friends as long as it is quiet

Get to work
Does anyone need my help?

You can't _______ until you clean up
Feel free to join us when your area is ready

Turn to page 6
I'm reading from page 6

Stop running!
The floors can be slippery, use a safe speed
or
Little kids go to school here too, be careful taking corners
or
Where's the fire! (that is not in the book, I just love saying it)

Get that hat off now!
You can put your hat back on at recess or dismissal. Where is a good place to put it until then?



Does this work?

Yes.

Well mostly.
Even with those really neat quotes - students who want to argue or try to engage you in time-wasting frivolous interchanges will give irrational and off topic answers just to be that way. You know, those students.

What do I do with that argumentative student who just has to say something wise?

I love this part of the book -- Go Brain Dead

What! No... those are zombies in Night of the Living Dead - what are you thinking?
That's not what "Go Brain Dead" means  - NO!

Disclaimer: There are no pictures or references to zombies in Teaching with Love and Logic

Not to argue the zombie thing, but yes, technically, zombies are brain dead... sort of... but zombies can't talk so they are not going to work here.

So zombies wouldn't be able to pull off these time-tested one-liners:

• Thank you
• I know
• Complaints can be submitted in writing at 4:00 pm
• Ummmm... (maybe a zombie would seem to be saying this...)
• Oh...

Let's try it...

Teacher: I'm reading from page 6

Student: My basketball coach says I need more sleep, I'm going to nap now [puts head down, starts fake snoring, kids laugh]

Teacher: Thank you, and good night. I'm going to read from page 6 now

Teacher: The floors can be slippery, use a safe speed

Student: Hey, Super Sub, I have super shoes so it's ok

Teacher: Oh... um...

[Sometimes, it's ok to yell "Stop!"]

Chapter Four

Empathy

In a nutshell:

• Using empathy means the problem stays their problem, your job is to prove you care
• You can use anger or sarcasm. Just know that - CONGRATULATIONS - you now own that child's problem
• It feels good to solve problems. Who doesn't want to be a hero? (Well, there's always that one kid). You feel great because what you did is about... you. Oops. You just stole an educational opportunity from a child and broke a rule -- remember which rule?
• Rule # 3 Keep in mind that you are there to defend every student's right to an education
• Be empathetic to both the offender and the offended (read rule #3 again)

Let's keep going with the examples:

You are late! I'm going to deduct your grade!

Wow, that's a late assignment. It must be disappointing to not get full credit.

Serious example:

We found drugs in your backpack, hope you rot in jail punk (paraphrase)
I have the unfortunate role of telling you... (drugs part). We needed to involve the authorities. If you would like me to, I will stay with you as you go through the process of talking to the police and going to court. How would you like me to help you?

Remember - every student has a right to learn -- especially when the lessons are the hardest

Watch your tone - the best said words said poorly can say the opposite...
With that said, here's some more things you can say to show empathy

• Mmmm mmm mmm...
• This must be upsetting to you
• Yikes!
• What a bummer
• (and the best one... practice this one...) Oh

Chapter Five

Bank it!

Bank shots are now proven scientifically to go in more often, basketball fans.
This statement was a tangent, I just wanted you to know.
(Wired Science on Bank Shots)






Piggy bank



"Bank it" means to store up control by giving it away. Give, give, give to the bank. Then when you need to ask for some control back and it will be there for you.

How this works is to actively search for things you can give to the class:

• What tasks are ones you can do but could easily be done by a student? Give those tasks away.
• What choices are not game changers? Give those choices to the class.

Here's how using this chapter played out when I purposefully applied this to a middle school homeroom/science group.

• [During homeroom] Can someone show me how to turn on the smart board for doing science notes? Thank you.
• [In the Class] Is this how your teacher does this? How about the sound level, is it ok? Thank you.
• Can someone come up and click to advance the slides on the teacher notes we will use today? Thank you.
• Lights off or on? Ok, who would like to turn them off? Thank you.
• Curtains open or closed? Ok, point to the student you would trust to close the curtains and I'll pick that person. Thank you.
• Would you like to write the notes or use chrome books? Is everyone ok?
• [To the student who starts to talk during instructions] Please come up here and pick a marker I can use today - as long as it works, you chose the color. Thank you. Could you stay up here and hold this for me for a minute, thanks!
• Who do you think has the best public speaking voice? Point to that student and I will pick the reader for this part of the class. Thank you.

I really needed the class to pay attention to the demonstration of the lab. Since I had given away as much as possible, it was my turn to take control back. When I moved to the lab table, I asked them to give me their undivided attention and be quiet. They gave it to me. Why? They could afford it, I had filled the bank.



Makes you rethink the term "pay" attention...

Once I felt they knew the objective and how to use the materials, I transfered control of the lesson back to class. "Do what you need to in order to complete the lab. Let me know if I can help."

Relationship = shared control

Giving control away does not change the fact that I am in charge.

Example - how weird would it be for a coach to run on the court and start playing?
Coaches don't play in the game, they are in charge of the team.

I prepare them, train them, then they do it. The more "game like" I make the practices, the better the team will be when the day comes. So give away control so they know what it looks like, what it means, and how to give it up when the situation calls for it.

As the lab progressed, I circulated and used control sharing words from my book notes:

• Do you need my help?
• Is ____________ (behavior) taking away from this group's right to learn? What can you do about that?
• Oh, I see. Can you write that complaint down and I will try to read about it when I have free time?

Back to the teacher/coach idea (not in the book, but I read this chapter during basketball season).
In middle school level sports, leaving a kid on the bench during a non-tournament game is poor coaching. In middle school teaching, leaving a class on the bench is ridiculous. Get them in the control game early and let them get life experience.

A class that is treated like a player left on the bench will not get better. To learn to play, they have to get in the game. They have to shoot and miss lots of times before they make a basket. And making a shot in a game is a different situation. "I will not take you out for making a mistake. Make an illegal pick - the referee will stop the game and tell you it was wrong. Next time, make another pick - and keep doing it until it works." Bad passes, missed shots, cutting at the wrong time... we all do these things as a part of learning, welcome to the team.

School is the game and the practices all rolled up in one. It would be weird for a coach to start a practice by demonstrating how to run laps, do some layups, take a bunch of shots all the while talking about basketball. Students sitting and watching a teacher turn off lights, fiddle with the curtains, read words off the screen, lick her thumb and distribute papers... Let them do it.

Give them the game experience.

(That was kind of preachy, guess I needed to vent. Thanks for listening)

Chapter Six

Extremely Disruptive Students

Ironically, I read this chapter on Friday -- after I got home from a wild, wild day. I was asked to switch from the dish pit and cover band practice. Friday, a week before spring vacation, substitute, band – get the picture? A former soccer player of mine was just being nutty. I tried to reset him by asking him to return to his seat, I went over to his music stand and quietly asked him to refocus. He got up and grabbed one of the cups (from the "cup song") off the table and put it on his head. I asked him to stand by the door for a while and take a break. In full view of the class, he did that one extra thing. I felt like a failure as it was happening but did it anyway – “Go to the office.” And then I called it in.

Sending a kid to the office to me is teacher failure.

But is it?

He came back after the class was over to put away his instrument. He gave a very well thought out apology. We talked briefly, and he went off to the rest of his day. Later, I saw him and we talked again. Was he ok? This was a reset for him – he said he was not in any kind of permanent “trouble.” All involved including him thought he was a good kid having a moment. I was relieved.

Remember every student has a right to learn. Sometimes defending a student’s right to learn means temporarily asking a student to go somewhere else. If you can't teach, no one can learn. The key word is temporary. Oh, and reset. Two key words.

Real serious issues

Even with all resources of a school employed, there can be that one student who will not learn and will not allow others to learn either. This will take a long-term process with slow and small gains. This report is written at a time I am only working as a sub. If you are reading this and have such a student you work with every day, really, read the whole chapter. I found this section of the book gave not only good advice and suggestions for how to help a student reset, but it also gave me hope and perspective. Here, get the book Teaching with Love and Logic.

Sending kids to the office is a temporary fix to save the lesson – and it is the result of a failure somewhere down the line. It might have nothing to do with you or the school, but don't be afraid to take a look at what happened and see how much you can do better. That is how you become a super sub. Take your part of it first and learn from it. Let your student own his/her part.

Here’s my part of it:

• I did not introduce myself or go over my three rules. The students came in loud, tuned loud, and we started our first piece – it’s a middle school band, it’s loud.
• I did not give them a clear objective. Why? It's band, I thought it was obvious.

Let the student own his part:

• He already knew the expectations of the band room and ignored them.
• He did not make use of two suggestions to reset his behavior. 

Learn and adjust

The next class, I did say my name and the rules. This teacher left for a personal emergency and did not have a complete lesson plan, so I made up and objective and announced it. A few students got very silly and would not stop laughing. I got as close as I could (the band room has no risers, it gets messy fast with chairs, music stands, trombones going one way, flutes another). From four chairs away, I leaned in towards the girls and said, “Go get a drink of water, both of you, and come back. Dehydration sometimes causes advanced silliness.”

Side note - because I could not physically get through the band stuff everywhere to use proximity and a whisper, everyone wanted to get a drink. No.

Reset. It’s ok. You are ok to do it and kids are ok to need it.

Here are some places

• The office is a last resort. 
• Some teachers have an area already set up for this, ask the student if there is such a place that some students have used for this. ("Some students" -- see how I worked that in there?)
• Sometimes, it's good to have a few library books on hand - that you might ask a student to please return for you, thank you
• Sometimes, a teacher next door will see you come in and warn you about __________ (that kid) and help this student reset. If you get an invitation to use another classroom for a reset - you should take them up on it. Have a sealed envelope with a note in it "I'm sending this student to you to reset, please ask him how his day is going and send him back. Thank you."
• I have asked an upset student to go look out the window or walk to the end of the hall and back.
• I have suggested a student open the window and get some new air - others may jump on that, sometimes a bunch of them need a good reset. Air is good. And it's free.

Some days I wish I had a reset place for me... it would look like this...

Chapter 7

Prevention vs Detention

What is your classroom culture?
What are the traffic patterns?
How can you foster positive relationships and avoid blow-ups or battles?
Where do you begin?

Checklist:

• Enter and begin
• Ending and leaving
• Transitions
• Walk in hall
• Books supplies, possessions
• Teasing, bullying
• Bathroom
• Pencil sharpening
• Chrome books

Think about road signs...

Open Strong – Welcome to Kansas – we use seatbelts and the max speed limit is 55
Let them know – work zone ahead






Three more things:

1. Your opening - keep it focused with no downtime
2. Throughout the day - be vigilant – move around constantly
3. When it happens, stop errant behavior quickly, it will not go away

Chapter Eight

Guide kids to solve their own problems

Getting kids to fix problems they create

Tattle-Tale

Personal Anecdote - It's New Hampshire, snow happens...

A boy is picking up snow out on the soccer field. A girl runs over and tells me this.

“Can’t you see him? He’s picking up snow.”

“Thank you, but no. I’m not interested in picking up snow today.”

“No. I want you to yell at him!”

“Why would I do that?”

“He’s breaking a rule! No picking up snow ever!”

“Seriously, this is New Hampshire, how could there possibly be such a silly rule? How can you keep someone from picking up snow forever? Ever is a long, long time. What about at home or when he's a grown man with a beard and picking up snow? How would I recognize him with a beard? That's just not enforceable. Do you have anything else you would like to talk about?”

“Stop it! You need to yell at him!”

“So, what did he say to you when you showed him the kindness of reminding him - gently - that he was not supposed to pick up snow?”

“AHHHHHH!!!! You do it!”

“But you were just over there, couldn’t you have done it?”

“No, he needs to be YELLED AT BY A TEACHER RIGHT NOW!”

“Oh, no way. I don’t like you yelling at me and I’m certainly not going to yell at him. Besides, he’s across the field by himself. I’ll go out there if he needs medical assistance only or to push him out of the way if he's about to get hit by a big grey meteor. I suggest you leave him alone. He looks happy and he’s not hurting anyone.”

And then the recess was over. And the boy put down the snow and lined up.

Moral of this story:
As much as possible, get them to at least try to work it out.
When they can't, don't offer to solve it, offer to give ideas.

Some Students

What I love about these books - you try one thing a day. Maybe you can't work it in that day, so you try the next day. I am waiting to use this line next, "Some students say..."

I liked this part of this chapter because it throws the focus off of me

"Some students say they find sitting away from friends helps them to focus on learning."
This goes along with the UNH Extension Ages and Stages - as a child grows in emotional and social age, peer influence becomes more and more strong. This phrase capitalizes on peers, not the authority figure

Here's "Some students say..." as a part of this scenario: A kid can’t find a partner

“Some students who needed a partner found that they could join a group of three, or they worked alone doing both parts, or they sat and watched…” (try to give at least three options that you wouldn't mind this student trying)

Don’t – give a suggestion to which option is best, that's taking away from a student's right to learn

Do – say “Which one will work for you?”

Do – ask "What do you think will happen when you try that?" (use when they are not choosing the best option)

Do – end with “Will you let me know if one of these ideas works out?”

Energy Drain

I have not used this -- but I have it in my bank of things I might want to use someday

In that early part of the day when you are sending in attendance, be honest - have you ever said: "YES!" when that "that kid" was not here?

It's because that kid is a big energy drain.
When that kid is there and all the other neato ideas fail, just go for the Energy Drain technique.

• First, say “When you did ___________, that really drained my energy.” Hey, it’s true, right?
• Second, say “How will you put that energy back?”
• Outcome One – student gets it, is so sorry, thinks of a way to give you your energy back and is good from now on (not likely)
• Outcome Two – student has no idea or inkling to give back anything, so say “Would you like to hear what some students have done to replace energy in my class?” or “Would you please look over here at the list of what some students have thought of to replace energy in this room?”
• Outcome Three – the student doesn’t choose something or come close to empathy for you. Ok, move on and bring this up again later in the day or the next day. Don't stop asking.

Energy list

• Wash Sinks
• Staple papers
• Dust horizontal surfaces
• Straighten or sort supplies
• Wash the whiteboard tray
• Organize something

A flaw in this book - it didn't cover this contingency:

I tried this with my own kids. Their response - "Well, you REALLY drain my energy, so YOU give it back!"

Some parents find their kids are greater than any advice found in any book.
Some parents find once in a while that threatening their children provides an immediate and intoxicating reward, just saying...

Chapter Nine

Reaching Undermotivated Youth

Poverty or wealth
Love or neglect

Don't Punish It

Undermotivated students can come from any background. Often times we don't have the time, energy, or background to solve these deeper complex issues. So what can we do?

Start with knowing some of the gains we get are small.
It can be a slow process.
Sometimes it takes weeks or months or longer to find the root of the problem a student is facing.
Consistently do all of the above. Believe in it. Believe in the student. Keep trying.

What definitely does not work with undermotivated youth?

• Suspension from recess
• In school suspension or detention
• Loss of privileges
• Canceling extracurricular activities
• Threats, lectures, nasty looks

Butt-Kicking: It didn't work on Cool Hand Luke, and it won't work on undermotivated students

Don't Reward It

What works for a short while and then fails with undermotivated youth?

• Rewards based motivational programs
• Empathy & smart phrases from this book
• Peer pressure to achieve
• Tutors & extra help

So, if everything fails, what do we do?

Don't.  

Take the next step... give up.

This is right out of the chapter:

Teacher - "I'm sorry."
Undermotivated Youth - "For what?"
"For acting like the boss of you."
"????"
"That's your job"
"????"
"With your permission, can I ask from time to time if you need help?"

Other conversations as stated in this chapter
"I believe in you and promise to do my best to help you succeed."
"So just give me A's."
"I give A's for A work. Regardless of grades, I teach and care for every child in my room."

And that's all you can do.


Oh, then there is this...





Other things to avoid are what seem like kindnesses to undermotivated students, but really rob them of control:

Praise: "You got it right!"
Process: "How did you know it was ____ (answer)?"

Praise: "Your letters look really good!"
Process: "I can read that, how did you learn to do that?"

Praise: "I really like that!"
Process: "What do you think about it?"

Paise: "You got a goal in the game today, I will give you an ice cream cone, no make it $10!!!"
Process: "I love watching you play hard. How do you think it went today?"
(sports stuff not included in TWL&L, that was me)

Underlying the Underachiever...

Underachievers are dealing with fear.

There is an unmet physical or emotional need. Remember, these students come from rich or poor, stable or broken homes. There is much guilt involved with the parties dealing with this student, you don't need to add to it.

Remember rule # 1 -- I will listen to you.
It may take a long time and a lot of silence, be ready for this student, be listening when they finally speak. It will be important. And it will take a long time.

So, what do we do?

Do all of it - every day consistently to be there for this student. Use all school resources. And be patient. The deeper the fear, the longer the journey back.

Chapter Ten

Success with challenging parents

Bumper Sticker Inspiration:

Instead of seeing them as a pain, see their pain

Parents Grieve Over Their Child's Failures

A failing child for whatever reason sends a parent through the stages of grief. Seeing parent behavior as grief helps you show empathy (I like to look at this behavior as temporary insanity, then I can not be all judgy about it):

• Denial - not my child, never happens at home, it's the other kids 
• Anger - you don't care, you're racist, I'm calling my lawyer
• Bargaining - get another teacher, send me hourly emails, if you don't ___ then ___ (solutions are teacher based, not child led)
• Depression - nothing works, IDK [tissue box]
• Acceptance - you deserve a medal for how hard you have worked with my child!

The Encounter

When faced with this parent:

1. Collect intel

Soak up the emotions
"I can't imagine how upsetting this must be"

Let them talk
"Help me understand."
"What was your child's initial reaction?"
"What have you tried so far?"
"What is the best way you see me helping?"

Don't

• interrupt
• try to defend
• try to reason

2. Slow things down
"I want to make sure I am hearing you correctly, do you mind if I take notes?"
Then write down the worst thing they said. Word for word. Ask them to repeat it. Get it exact.
"Would you repeat that so I can get it all down?"

3. Read it back to the parent - watch out for tone, it will be hard - EMPATHY MUST BE SINCERE
"I want to make sure I am getting this, is it ok if I read it back to you?"
Read the EXACT words without defending yourself or making commentary:
"You said, 'You are unfair, you give X & Y preferential treatment. You have no business teaching. You should get a job at Home Depot or Market Basket.' Did I miss anything?"

Why? Because even if it goes miserably, you were a class act.


Mr. President, would you repeat that so I can write it down? Please and thank you.


4. Attempt to enter the thinking state
Yes? Everyone thinking? Good. Go to step 5
No? Like shoots and ladders, through no fault of your own, you are back at the beginning. Sigh.

5. Problem Solve
Make sure you have the right problem (steps 1-4)

Prevention

Relationships with parents is key. Start communicating immediately.
AVOID communicating problems via text or email
Communicate early and often

The End

Thank you for reading my summaries. Now go buy the book.